maybe they meant "park(ing lot) ranger?"

word of the day: superfluous: (adj) in excess of what is required or sufficient.
song of the day: "big yellow taxi" -- joni mitchell

while driving the other day, i found myself behind the middlesex county park ranger. you may not think this is strange. but, then again, you may not know where i live either. middlesex county, nj isn't exactly the kind of area one would think of as a "park setting." there's not really a huge amount of leafy vegetation. we do have trees and stuff but they're not usually grouped together. what we call "parks" are generally small patches of grass sprinkled with a few trees, picnic tables and those bbq grills made out of half an oil drum. there may also be a softball or soccer field if you're lucky. maybe a man-made lake that needs those fountains in the middle to keep it from sprouting that green stuff. i don't see any of these areas requiring anything more than a small lawn mower and someone to empty the dunkin' donuts cups from the numerous garbage cans. maintenance: yes. park ranger: huh?

when i tried to picture who was driving,
this is what popped into my head.

we aren't really known for our parks in jersey. it's not our thing. unless you're speaking of "menlo park mall." we're very proud of that. people come all the way from connecticut to shop there. we also have several thousand "corporate parks." lots of fresh air there. yeah...so parks, not so much. we do have a large amount of pavement and concrete. and giant, vacant houses and office space. (we like to build, whether or not anyone is actually looking to buy). my hometown, which is in middlesex county, was also home to one of the east coast's worst toxic waste dumps, kin-buc. yeah, it was a superfund site. ah, there's no place like home... (http://www.contienviro.com/projfolder/kin_buc_landfill_superfund_site.pdf --> in case you wanted more info about picturesque edison, nj)

so, that being said, i'm not too sure what this "park ranger" does for a living. i would love to know how much s/he gets paid for this "ranging." i am slightly proud to mention that s/he was driving a ford escape hybrid. though i don't know if the hybrid suvs get any better gas mileage than my non-hybrid corolla, i would have expected a jersey park ranger to be cruising around in a fully-loaded expedition or an escalade or something equally ridiculous. something with chrome rims, tints and a spoiler. maybe even a hummer. that would be totally jersey. we do have some pretty rugged terrain. i mean, some parts of the state are even above sea level. (just as a side note, i hate hummers. i find them completely and totally ludicrous out of the context of the military. do you drive through a lake on your way to work? no? then why a hummer? why?)

needless to say, i was so shocked by the sight of this seemingly unneeded profession that i thought it required visual documentation. it was akin to a bigfoot or loch ness monster sighting. i wanted proof i actually witnessed this just in case nobody believed me.

so sad yet so true...forget "the garden state," that should be our state motto.

unlike the allman brothers, i was not born a ramblin' man.

word of the day: compendious: (adj) containing or stating briefly and concisely all the essentials; succinct.
song of the day: "enjoy the silence" -- depeche mode.

hi, my name is amy and i am a woman of few spoken words. apparently, some people have issues with this. let me elaborate.

i'm sure you've met someone like me before--at a party or other social event or you've passed me by at work or taken a class with me. you may have had the fleeting thought of: "damn, she sure doesn't talk much." for those who think this quietly to themselves, i don't mind; they're right. however, i will occasionally have the pleasure of someone saying to my face, "you don't talk much, do you?" well, way to state the obvious, dummy. why would you chose to say this (in front of an audience no less)? i would never walk up to someone i barely know and say, "good god, you talk a lot." that would be rude, right? well, allow me to say that i feel the same way about this situation. it's like pointing out to someone that they have a big nose; you don't go there. i despise this type of interaction. it's just confrontational enough to anger me but ends up making me look like a total jackass if i actually show it. and, just so you know, the fact that i have yet to speak doesn't mean i can't hear you insulting me. it's almost as if they're thinking, "oh, i'll poke fun at the mute. she doesn't talk so she must not yell either." i'm not a mime, people. if i think you're being a total jerk, i won't make a sad face and walk away; i will tear you a new one.

now, i'm sure that not all people who inquire about my quiet nature are trying to annoy or insult me on purpose. i think they're just misinformed about quiet people. i'm friends with many "talkers" and they're fantastic company. they also respect the fact that i'm not a talker. they don't say things like "so, why don't you talk more?" how should i respond to that? "i don't friggin know, it's just how i was born." does that work? ask me a real question if you're so interested in how little i talk. anything, really. ask me what my favorite cheese is (huntsman) or what my middle name is (longer story than you might think). be creative. and it's not like i'm holding my breath just waiting for someone to ask me a question. it seems that some people think i need help joining conversations. note to these people: i do not need to be saved from my own quietness. if you're generally interested in what i have to say, that's one thing. but i'm no damsel so you can go put the white horse back in the stable. after all, you have the problem with my quietness, not me.

my silence is nothing personal, i swear. i'd rather say something meaningful instead of blurting out whatever pops into my head. and, truth be told, i like listening. you tend to learn some interesting things by keeping your mouth shut and your ears open. so i like my place in life as the listener. but some people just can't seem to handle it.

i'm not quite sure why these people bother me so much...maybe i'm defensive that they question my demeanor in such a blunt way. or maybe i wish they would leave me alone and let me talk when i have something of meaning to say. or maybe i'm slightly envious of those who could carry on a conversation with a bar stool if they really had to and instead of dealing with my jealousy, i'm choosing to vent. whatever the reason, can't we all just get along? i'm quiet; why do people feel the need to bring it up? if that's all you can think of to say to me, better to just shut it up.

basically, my point here is that i'm tired of being labeled as "timid" or "shy," especially when it's implied that those are bad things. i'm sick of people thinking that i must be some kind of social outcast because i don't have a comment for everything. i'm not mute, stupid or mean. there's a lot going on in this self-restrained mind of mine so be careful what you wish for...you may find it's harder to get me to shutup once i've started.

and for all you people out there who respect my quiet personality, i salute you. you have made my life a much more comfortable place.

so this blog is kinda nice. there's no one here to call attention to my silence, because even though there may be no sound, i am still communicating. (strange how that works...) there is silence enough for me to speak. so speak i will.