thanks to a new "fan" of my "maybe they meant park(ing lot) ranger" blog who left me 2 very informative (and somewhat angry) comments, i thought i would press my luck and post another blog...maybe i'll make even more friends!! it's also been months since my last musing on the world. i've been a little busy with school and work and other random shit and have been ignoring my loyal audience. my apologies.
so, this weekend, something happened that made me angry. and since those are the most fun things to write about, that will be today's topic. now, those of you who know me can probably figure out who i will be voting for in the upcoming presidential election. those of you who don't know me, well, i'm not telling you who i'm voting for because if you disagree with me, this story just won't have the same zing for you. so here goes:
my parents and i all live in the same house and are all voting for the same presidential candidate. they recently went to a certain campaign headquarters and purchased bumper stickers and a lawn sign for the house. the lawn sign was put out on tuesday, october 8th. we were very proud of our lawn sign as there are very few of them in our neighborhood and we wanted to show our support. now, i'll have you know that we live on a very quiet street. it's not a dead end but it's a loop and we live at the part that starts to bend around. so, basically, if you don't live on our street, there is really no reason for you to be driving past my house unless you are lost. remember this information for later...
anyway, on my way to work on saturday morning (oct 11th), i glanced at the beautiful lawn sign as i was pulling out of the driveway (as i did everyday that week) just to make sure it was still there. the reason i am concerned that it may not be there is that i don't think my dad shoved the little wire things far enough into the ground and i am nervous that it will get carried away by the wind one day. but the sign was there so it was off to work for me.
halfway through the day, i called my mom at home to ask her a random question. as it turned out, she had a question for me too: "was the lawn sign there when you left for work this morning?" "hmm, why yes it was," i told her. "why do you ask?" she then proceeded to tell me that our precious $4 lawn sign had gone missing...
long story short: someone STOLE our lawn sign! what the hell is wrong with people??? not only is it stealing and trespassing but what the hell is wrong with people??!!? you don't like my sign? too fucking bad! go get the sign for the opposing party and put it on your own damned lawn. i may curse at your lawn sign as i drive by it but i will certainly not remove the sign from your friggin' property! i was amazed that this actually happened. what moron wastes their time with that kind of nonsense??? the best part about this story is that is was most likely one of our neighbors that did it. how f-ed up is that? if you're really that much of a baby that someone expressing an opposing opinion turns you into a criminal, then you may want to seek some sort of therapy. or try growing up. and we're neighbors for crying out loud. our lawn sign wasn't offensive or inappropriate. it was an official campaign lawn sign. the same ones that are adorning lawns all over this fantastic country of ours. they are not meant to be a slap in anyone's face. they are simply showing support for the person that we believe is best-suited for the job. that's all. try not to take it so mother-f-ing personal. that just proves your stupidity, you stealing dumbass.
now, my mom, being the extraordinarily positive and rationally thinking person that she is, had 2 other theories as to what happened to our sign. one was that a kid took it. like an 11-year-old. if this was the case, his parents should have taught him that stealing is not cool but at least i could use the kid's immaturity as an excuse. the other theory is that someone who also supported the person featured on our lawn sign wanted one SO badly for their own lawn that they stole ours so that they could proudly display it. highly unlikely? yes. would it make me feel better than someone stealing the sign because they disagreed with us? hell yes.
so my mom went out that day and got us a new sign. she put it in the garden which puts the sign much closer to the house but still visible from the street. only time will tell if it survives the next few weeks. my personal idea was to get about 15 more signs and just plaster the front lawn with them. you don't scare me, you sign-swiping loser. i also thought that we should attach little notes to each sign with thought-provoking phrases on them such as "jesus is watching you" or "which sign would jesus steal?" i also considered "stealing is unpatriotic!" and "you can steal my sign but you can't have my vote" but i thought that the one that would have the most impact and would surely work the best was "this premise protected by lipstick-wearing pitbull."
and now that you've made it to the end of my story, OBAMA KICKS ASS. sorry. i know i said i wouldn't share my preference but i just couldn't bear the thought that someone might mistake me for a republican...especially a stealing republican... and for all you republicans out there who may have stumbled upon this blog unknowingly, i don't think ALL of you are thieving scumbags...just the ones who take my stuff.
