thanks to a new "fan" of my "maybe they meant park(ing lot) ranger" blog who left me 2 very informative (and somewhat angry) comments, i thought i would press my luck and post another blog...maybe i'll make even more friends!! it's also been months since my last musing on the world. i've been a little busy with school and work and other random shit and have been ignoring my loyal audience. my apologies.
so, this weekend, something happened that made me angry. and since those are the most fun things to write about, that will be today's topic. now, those of you who know me can probably figure out who i will be voting for in the upcoming presidential election. those of you who don't know me, well, i'm not telling you who i'm voting for because if you disagree with me, this story just won't have the same zing for you. so here goes:
my parents and i all live in the same house and are all voting for the same presidential candidate. they recently went to a certain campaign headquarters and purchased bumper stickers and a lawn sign for the house. the lawn sign was put out on tuesday, october 8th. we were very proud of our lawn sign as there are very few of them in our neighborhood and we wanted to show our support. now, i'll have you know that we live on a very quiet street. it's not a dead end but it's a loop and we live at the part that starts to bend around. so, basically, if you don't live on our street, there is really no reason for you to be driving past my house unless you are lost. remember this information for later...
anyway, on my way to work on saturday morning (oct 11th), i glanced at the beautiful lawn sign as i was pulling out of the driveway (as i did everyday that week) just to make sure it was still there. the reason i am concerned that it may not be there is that i don't think my dad shoved the little wire things far enough into the ground and i am nervous that it will get carried away by the wind one day. but the sign was there so it was off to work for me.
halfway through the day, i called my mom at home to ask her a random question. as it turned out, she had a question for me too: "was the lawn sign there when you left for work this morning?" "hmm, why yes it was," i told her. "why do you ask?" she then proceeded to tell me that our precious $4 lawn sign had gone missing...
long story short: someone STOLE our lawn sign! what the hell is wrong with people??? not only is it stealing and trespassing but what the hell is wrong with people??!!? you don't like my sign? too fucking bad! go get the sign for the opposing party and put it on your own damned lawn. i may curse at your lawn sign as i drive by it but i will certainly not remove the sign from your friggin' property! i was amazed that this actually happened. what moron wastes their time with that kind of nonsense??? the best part about this story is that is was most likely one of our neighbors that did it. how f-ed up is that? if you're really that much of a baby that someone expressing an opposing opinion turns you into a criminal, then you may want to seek some sort of therapy. or try growing up. and we're neighbors for crying out loud. our lawn sign wasn't offensive or inappropriate. it was an official campaign lawn sign. the same ones that are adorning lawns all over this fantastic country of ours. they are not meant to be a slap in anyone's face. they are simply showing support for the person that we believe is best-suited for the job. that's all. try not to take it so mother-f-ing personal. that just proves your stupidity, you stealing dumbass.
now, my mom, being the extraordinarily positive and rationally thinking person that she is, had 2 other theories as to what happened to our sign. one was that a kid took it. like an 11-year-old. if this was the case, his parents should have taught him that stealing is not cool but at least i could use the kid's immaturity as an excuse. the other theory is that someone who also supported the person featured on our lawn sign wanted one SO badly for their own lawn that they stole ours so that they could proudly display it. highly unlikely? yes. would it make me feel better than someone stealing the sign because they disagreed with us? hell yes.
so my mom went out that day and got us a new sign. she put it in the garden which puts the sign much closer to the house but still visible from the street. only time will tell if it survives the next few weeks. my personal idea was to get about 15 more signs and just plaster the front lawn with them. you don't scare me, you sign-swiping loser. i also thought that we should attach little notes to each sign with thought-provoking phrases on them such as "jesus is watching you" or "which sign would jesus steal?" i also considered "stealing is unpatriotic!" and "you can steal my sign but you can't have my vote" but i thought that the one that would have the most impact and would surely work the best was "this premise protected by lipstick-wearing pitbull."
and now that you've made it to the end of my story, OBAMA KICKS ASS. sorry. i know i said i wouldn't share my preference but i just couldn't bear the thought that someone might mistake me for a republican...especially a stealing republican... and for all you republicans out there who may have stumbled upon this blog unknowingly, i don't think ALL of you are thieving scumbags...just the ones who take my stuff.
13 October 2008
16 May 2008
jersey pride! well, not really...
for your reading pleasure, i have provided you with a list of things that, apparently, people who are from new jersey are proud of. i have edited the list severely as it seems jerseyites are quite proud of some very banal things. i left in the ones that made me laugh so hard that i started to weep bitterly when i remembered that i still live in new jersey. i have also included comments after each delightful morsel of useless information.
enjoy. (please ignore any formatting issues. blogger was not being nice to me this morning.)
New Jersey is a peninsula. three out of four sides bordered by water…just more stuff for us to pollute!
The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. an enormous stone monument with a (stone) light bulb on top stands in his honor in my hometown of Edison. it’s a beautiful sight. really makes you wanna go home and turn on all your lights.
enjoy. (please ignore any formatting issues. blogger was not being nice to me this morning.)
New Jersey is a peninsula. three out of four sides bordered by water…just more stuff for us to pollute!
Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida. it's only 200 ft. i looked it up.
New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas. i really don’t find this “brag-worthy” material. it is, however, a little depressing.
New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky. we also have more strip malls than we have trees.
New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.) than Havana, Cuba. replace the word “cubans” with “people,” then “union city” with “new jersey” and “havana, cuba” with “anywhere at all” and that sentence is still true.
New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US. since we are the most densely populated state, this would make sense, no? and why are we so proud of all our pavement?
New Jersey has the highest cost of living, the highest cost of auto insurance and the highest property taxes in the nation. did we also mention that we have an extraordinarily high number of residents fleeing the state for cheaper housing and (literally) greener pastures? shocking yet true.
New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club: Taylor Ham or Pork Roll. oh, now this is surely something to be proud of: nasty meat made of garbage and fat. yum! thank you, new jersey!
North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius. independent stores suck! i want overpriced, mass-produced crap that i have to obtain by dodging millions of teenagers that have zero respect for other people’s personal space and slow-moving adults doing the “mall stroll.”
New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. but the whole world thinks they belong to new york so this statement just makes us look bitter as well as possessive, jealous and territorial.
New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous:
Asbury Park , Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May. they’re also among the nation’s shittiest resort cities & towns. don’t ever go to any of them (except maybe cape may during off-season). i promise you will be disappointed.
Asbury Park , Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May. they’re also among the nation’s shittiest resort cities & towns. don’t ever go to any of them (except maybe cape may during off-season). i promise you will be disappointed.
New Jersey has the most stringent testing along its coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country. this practice is a must when medical waste is occasionally dumped into the ocean. no kudos should be given for this.
New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals. LARGEST CHEMICAL PRODUCING STATE: that is all anyone will take away from this meaningless fact.
In 1642, the first brewery in America opened in Hoboken. and we’ve turned the original building into an olive garden! (i don’t know if this is really true but it sounds like something we would do.)
The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940. and we’ve turned his studio into an outback steak house!
New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first. it smells just great there too!!
New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports, Newark Liberty International. “busy” just means that you need to get there 2+ hours in advance to make sure you don’t miss your flight. that is, of course, if it hasn’t been cancelled or delayed.
George Washington slept there. at the airport?
Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington. yeah, yeah, yeah. we were one of the stupid 13 original colonies. get some new material.
The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. an enormous stone monument with a (stone) light bulb on top stands in his honor in my hometown of Edison. it’s a beautiful sight. really makes you wanna go home and turn on all your lights. New Jersey also boasts the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs. leaders in the global warming movement even back then…how nostalgic.
New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries. you should see the beautiful holding tanks. when the sun is setting behind them and the light shines through the pollution, oh, it’s like a postcard, i tell ya.
The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains. not only did they steal their land but they made them live in jersey?? those guys went straight to hell. (by the way, watchung mountains? try watchung hills.)
New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. (Union, NJ!!!) holy crap! start planning the vacay now! i must see this water tower!! (btw, i live just minutes from it if you’d like a place to stay during your visit.)
The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ. you’d think this would be a nice piece of history to keep alive but, no, we’ve shut it down. i’m sure it’s the sight of a walmart now.
New Jersey is home to both of 'NEW YORK'S' pro football teams! they should just make us part of new york. clearly we have some sort of inferiority complex and feel the need to claim all their stuff. while it is true that both the giants and the jets actually play in jersey, who really gives a crap? i remember in the 80's someone went through the trouble of making new t-shirts that said "new jersey giants" on them. didn't really take off like they thought it would...
The Great Falls in Paterson, on the Passaic River, is the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US. just don’t touch the water. your skin will fall off.
the one thing that should have been mentioned about new jersey but was shamelessly left out: rev. run lives there!! it just may be the only thing about the state that can make me say "i'm proud to live in new jersey." i hope you enjoyed this educational post and that you learned some things that you should immediately forget. i definitely enjoyed sharing it.
31 March 2008
some things in life are free. especially if you have no money and your parents feel bad for you.
i think i mention my relative broke-ness in nearly every single post. i apologize. it's purely unintentional. i guess it's just that my lack of money affects a wide range of my activities, or lack-there-of, as the case may be. see, in jersey, it's hard to find things to do that won't eat up my $160 weekly paycheck. that is why i have taken up the habit of never looking a gift horse in the mouth. now, i don't know if i know the exact meaning of that saying but i always interpretted it as, "when receiving a gift, be grateful that it's free." am i wrong? could be. but i think my interpretation is a good rule of thumb anyway. my point is that when someone invites me somewhere and i don't have to give them any money for it, 9 times out of 10, i'm there. free stuff? sign me up!
which brings me to the topic of my blog: i went to the opera the weekend before last for my sister's birthday. it's the second opera i've been to. the first one was for my mother's birthday. both of them were 100% free for me so if i went and didn't like it, i lost nothing. it just made good sense to go. the only reason not to go was because i might not like it. but then again, maybe i would. afterall, you never know until you try.
so the first opera we saw was the barber of seville. (quotes or italics for plays? i always forget. wait, is an opera a play?) it was funny, upbeat and generally enjoyable. they have little screens in front of your seat with subtitles so you can actually understand what the hell is going on and i think i even recognized more than one of the songs from bugs bunny cartoons.
i thought to myself, "hey, i might like the opera." it's not that i thought that i was incapable of enjoying the opera but when i was younger my father listened to opera all the time. over and over and over. and it was always the same cds. some were compilations, some were whole operas, but all were deadly as far as i was concerned. so clearly i grew up with a slightly bad taste in my mouth rather than an appreciation for it. but this whole "figaro" experience made me think that maybe opera is fun! it's an entirely different experience when you're actually there, in the theatre, watching it. it far surpasses the cd experience by leaps and bounds. you can hear the orchestra tuning up, everyone is all dressed up (i wore jeans which are acceptable but i didn't see a single solitary person joining me in my fashion choice) and the singing was absolutely amazing. i mean, these guys are friggin' talented.
having acquired all of these wonderful new insights on opera, i wasn't hesitant to go see another one. my sister decided she wanted to see one with a little more tragedy in it. madame butterfly to be exact. holy depressing situation, batman! what a bummer! i mean, i don't want to ruin the ending or anything but do not, i repeat, do not, get yourself prepared for a hollywood ending on this one. i've heard of madame butterfly before and knew of one particularly tragic scene but i didn't quite realize that after the 1st act, it is just all down hill. and pretty far down the hill, too. now, this is not to say that it wasn't good. it was really good. actually, the happiest scenes were the most boring ones (not gonna lie: i almost fell asleep twice. hey, gimme a break, it's dark in there). the 2nd and 3rd acts got increasingly more bleak but, musically, much more interesting. what it lacked in happiness, it made up for in beautiful music and singing.
what interested me was that even though it wasn't the feel-good opera of the year, i really did like it. i have been trying to think of a movie (hollywood, of course) that ends in such a blunt, tragic way and i've come up with nothing. i'm not exactly a movie "buff" but i've seen my share and they usually end with all the loose ends nicely tied together (or at least some of them) so that the general public doesn't leave the theater feeling a touch blue or melancholy. there's enough crappy stuff around in real life that is completely free; why would you pay $9 to experience it, right? so what's up with the tragic operas? that place was full of people willing to subject themselves to sadness and horror. and it sure cost them a lot more than $9. perhaps the fact that the bad news is delivered in a song makes it more bearable? maybe a nice, pretty song sung by a nice, pretty voice cushions the blow a little bit? if that's the case, i'm going to demand that someone sings me any bad news i might need to hear in my life. i want a huge man in a tuxedo to come into the room and sing in a beautiful operatic voice "your car needs braaaaaaaaaaaaaakes!!! it will cost a looooooooooooot of moneeeeeeeeey!!!" i think that might actually be kinda fun. for a while, at least.
well anyway, i can now check "opera" off my list. when someone mentions it, i can be all, "been there, done that." score. and it was free. double score. now, if only some generous soul would offer me the "free experience" of owning my own home. he could come into the room all dressed in a tux and be like, "you have no mortgaaaaaaaaaaaaage!!!" now that would be really cool.
which brings me to the topic of my blog: i went to the opera the weekend before last for my sister's birthday. it's the second opera i've been to. the first one was for my mother's birthday. both of them were 100% free for me so if i went and didn't like it, i lost nothing. it just made good sense to go. the only reason not to go was because i might not like it. but then again, maybe i would. afterall, you never know until you try.
so the first opera we saw was the barber of seville. (quotes or italics for plays? i always forget. wait, is an opera a play?) it was funny, upbeat and generally enjoyable. they have little screens in front of your seat with subtitles so you can actually understand what the hell is going on and i think i even recognized more than one of the songs from bugs bunny cartoons.
i thought to myself, "hey, i might like the opera." it's not that i thought that i was incapable of enjoying the opera but when i was younger my father listened to opera all the time. over and over and over. and it was always the same cds. some were compilations, some were whole operas, but all were deadly as far as i was concerned. so clearly i grew up with a slightly bad taste in my mouth rather than an appreciation for it. but this whole "figaro" experience made me think that maybe opera is fun! it's an entirely different experience when you're actually there, in the theatre, watching it. it far surpasses the cd experience by leaps and bounds. you can hear the orchestra tuning up, everyone is all dressed up (i wore jeans which are acceptable but i didn't see a single solitary person joining me in my fashion choice) and the singing was absolutely amazing. i mean, these guys are friggin' talented.
having acquired all of these wonderful new insights on opera, i wasn't hesitant to go see another one. my sister decided she wanted to see one with a little more tragedy in it. madame butterfly to be exact. holy depressing situation, batman! what a bummer! i mean, i don't want to ruin the ending or anything but do not, i repeat, do not, get yourself prepared for a hollywood ending on this one. i've heard of madame butterfly before and knew of one particularly tragic scene but i didn't quite realize that after the 1st act, it is just all down hill. and pretty far down the hill, too. now, this is not to say that it wasn't good. it was really good. actually, the happiest scenes were the most boring ones (not gonna lie: i almost fell asleep twice. hey, gimme a break, it's dark in there). the 2nd and 3rd acts got increasingly more bleak but, musically, much more interesting. what it lacked in happiness, it made up for in beautiful music and singing.
what interested me was that even though it wasn't the feel-good opera of the year, i really did like it. i have been trying to think of a movie (hollywood, of course) that ends in such a blunt, tragic way and i've come up with nothing. i'm not exactly a movie "buff" but i've seen my share and they usually end with all the loose ends nicely tied together (or at least some of them) so that the general public doesn't leave the theater feeling a touch blue or melancholy. there's enough crappy stuff around in real life that is completely free; why would you pay $9 to experience it, right? so what's up with the tragic operas? that place was full of people willing to subject themselves to sadness and horror. and it sure cost them a lot more than $9. perhaps the fact that the bad news is delivered in a song makes it more bearable? maybe a nice, pretty song sung by a nice, pretty voice cushions the blow a little bit? if that's the case, i'm going to demand that someone sings me any bad news i might need to hear in my life. i want a huge man in a tuxedo to come into the room and sing in a beautiful operatic voice "your car needs braaaaaaaaaaaaaakes!!! it will cost a looooooooooooot of moneeeeeeeeey!!!" i think that might actually be kinda fun. for a while, at least.
well anyway, i can now check "opera" off my list. when someone mentions it, i can be all, "been there, done that." score. and it was free. double score. now, if only some generous soul would offer me the "free experience" of owning my own home. he could come into the room all dressed in a tux and be like, "you have no mortgaaaaaaaaaaaaage!!!" now that would be really cool.
19 March 2008
silent all these weeks.
songs of the day: "the only living boy in new york" -- simon & garfunkel
"new york minute" -- don henley
so i realize that i'm suckin' at the whole blog thing recently. it's not at all that i don't want to blog on a regular basis; in fact, it's just the contrary. i wish i had more to blog about but the problem seems to be that everything i think of to say is markedly uninteresting. i realize that it's just a blog and not the new york times but i have this obnoxious part of my personality that thinks that if i can't do something well, i shouldn't do it at all. it's a combination of procrastination and perfectionism (both of which are absolutely annoying traits and, when paired together, can be confused for laziness). it's not the healthiest way to be and i'm trying to let go of my fear of failure (or, more precisely, not achieving perfection) but i find it very hard to sign my name to mediocre work. and, as you all know, it is extremely easy to create mediocre writing. its downright effortless.
watch:
the dog ran down the street. it was fast. a man yelled the dog's name. the dog ran home.
see how crappy that is? it took me no time at all, much to your surprise, i'm sure. but i did actually see this particular dog scenario happen today. i could have written about it but didn't for the following reasons:
anyway, i did actually have something else to blog about besides the reasons behind why i don't blog.
the hospital where i do the clinical portion of my school was having their inspection this week so they told us we couldn't come. that meant that i had the day off yesterday. woohoo! i was initially going to have my oil changed and maybe go to target to solve a storage problem i seem to be having. my mom was going into nyc to have her hair done and asked if i wanted to go so i put the errands off and went with her. i've never gone into new york by myself, except to change trains in penn station. when i go to the city, there is always a plan of some sort; there is no wandering so i thought it would be kinda cool to have no agenda. i brought some of my school stuff to study and my newly purchased red ipod which i adore with all of my heart. it turned out to be such a cool day.
when i go to nyc, i like to pretend i live there. it's such a different place from anywhere i've ever been and i have a strange respect for the people who can manage to exist in that world. i'd like to think that i would do well there. after i walked with my mom to the salon, i went to get coffee then walked over to central park where i found a bench and studied and people-watched for a while. then i just sort of wandered around the park for while. it was slightly surreal to have my headphones on while walking through the park because it was so quiet that if i was looking down, i could almost forget that i was in one of the most crowded cities in the world. it was even more eerie to look up and see all the ridiculously huge buildings that surround the park but still hear no sounds that resembled "city noise." once you get close to street though, it all comes back. there are more people, more sirens, more car horns, more construction. but i didn't mind. it fits there. i would be freaked out if the city were quiet. after that, i walked around the streets with the fancy apartments on them on the upper east side, got mistaken for a resident (which always makes me happy--i like to fit in) and then had to blow my cover when i admitted that i didn't know where the crosstown bus stopped, stopped at a starbucks and studied some more. then i met my mom, we had lunch at soupman ("no soup for you!") and went home. it was a really good day.
it reminded me of the days when i first moved to portland and had weekdays off (gotta love retail). i lived right on the edge of downtown then so i would grab my backpack, throw a book and my cd player in it (sometimes my camera, too) and walk down to the river. i walked aimlessly around, just taking everything in. every now and then, i miss living in a city. it's such a different atmosphere from the suburbs and i forget how much i love it until i get there. i'm not saying that i would like to live in nyc (although if i could afford it, i wouldn't rule it out) but i would like to start going more often. there's something about it that motivates me. it makes me want to accomplish things. everyone else around seems so busy that i start thinking, "hey, i should do stuff, too." it was definitely a needed change of pace from my suburban existence.
but now i'm back in my reality. i will need to get that oil change tomorrow and eventually visit the storage aisle in target. it's nice to get away from normality for a few hours every now and then but normal is also normal for a reason. in a strange way, my little excursion made me realize that i'm happy with where i am right now. even though i'm still in school. even though i have no money. even though i spend 2 days a week at a job i really don't like. even though (and perhaps because) i'm single and have no immediate prospects. i'm happy with all of that not despite of it, but because i have a feeling that i'm on my way to something good.
and that, my friends, is my blog for the day...but hopefully not for the month.
"new york minute" -- don henley
so i realize that i'm suckin' at the whole blog thing recently. it's not at all that i don't want to blog on a regular basis; in fact, it's just the contrary. i wish i had more to blog about but the problem seems to be that everything i think of to say is markedly uninteresting. i realize that it's just a blog and not the new york times but i have this obnoxious part of my personality that thinks that if i can't do something well, i shouldn't do it at all. it's a combination of procrastination and perfectionism (both of which are absolutely annoying traits and, when paired together, can be confused for laziness). it's not the healthiest way to be and i'm trying to let go of my fear of failure (or, more precisely, not achieving perfection) but i find it very hard to sign my name to mediocre work. and, as you all know, it is extremely easy to create mediocre writing. its downright effortless.
watch:
the dog ran down the street. it was fast. a man yelled the dog's name. the dog ran home.
see how crappy that is? it took me no time at all, much to your surprise, i'm sure. but i did actually see this particular dog scenario happen today. i could have written about it but didn't for the following reasons:
- i don't think anyone cares if i saw a dog today. i don't even care. i see dogs all the time. and i'm sure you do too.
- even if i did care that i saw a dog today and wanted to share it with my blog-reading friends, the story would need a major overhaul to say the least. actually, there really is no story so i would have to think of one. then, i would say to myself "is this dog story really worth the time and thought it would take me to create a somewhat interesting blog?" the answer is usually "hell no."
anyway, i did actually have something else to blog about besides the reasons behind why i don't blog.
the hospital where i do the clinical portion of my school was having their inspection this week so they told us we couldn't come. that meant that i had the day off yesterday. woohoo! i was initially going to have my oil changed and maybe go to target to solve a storage problem i seem to be having. my mom was going into nyc to have her hair done and asked if i wanted to go so i put the errands off and went with her. i've never gone into new york by myself, except to change trains in penn station. when i go to the city, there is always a plan of some sort; there is no wandering so i thought it would be kinda cool to have no agenda. i brought some of my school stuff to study and my newly purchased red ipod which i adore with all of my heart. it turned out to be such a cool day.
when i go to nyc, i like to pretend i live there. it's such a different place from anywhere i've ever been and i have a strange respect for the people who can manage to exist in that world. i'd like to think that i would do well there. after i walked with my mom to the salon, i went to get coffee then walked over to central park where i found a bench and studied and people-watched for a while. then i just sort of wandered around the park for while. it was slightly surreal to have my headphones on while walking through the park because it was so quiet that if i was looking down, i could almost forget that i was in one of the most crowded cities in the world. it was even more eerie to look up and see all the ridiculously huge buildings that surround the park but still hear no sounds that resembled "city noise." once you get close to street though, it all comes back. there are more people, more sirens, more car horns, more construction. but i didn't mind. it fits there. i would be freaked out if the city were quiet. after that, i walked around the streets with the fancy apartments on them on the upper east side, got mistaken for a resident (which always makes me happy--i like to fit in) and then had to blow my cover when i admitted that i didn't know where the crosstown bus stopped, stopped at a starbucks and studied some more. then i met my mom, we had lunch at soupman ("no soup for you!") and went home. it was a really good day.
it reminded me of the days when i first moved to portland and had weekdays off (gotta love retail). i lived right on the edge of downtown then so i would grab my backpack, throw a book and my cd player in it (sometimes my camera, too) and walk down to the river. i walked aimlessly around, just taking everything in. every now and then, i miss living in a city. it's such a different atmosphere from the suburbs and i forget how much i love it until i get there. i'm not saying that i would like to live in nyc (although if i could afford it, i wouldn't rule it out) but i would like to start going more often. there's something about it that motivates me. it makes me want to accomplish things. everyone else around seems so busy that i start thinking, "hey, i should do stuff, too." it was definitely a needed change of pace from my suburban existence.
but now i'm back in my reality. i will need to get that oil change tomorrow and eventually visit the storage aisle in target. it's nice to get away from normality for a few hours every now and then but normal is also normal for a reason. in a strange way, my little excursion made me realize that i'm happy with where i am right now. even though i'm still in school. even though i have no money. even though i spend 2 days a week at a job i really don't like. even though (and perhaps because) i'm single and have no immediate prospects. i'm happy with all of that not despite of it, but because i have a feeling that i'm on my way to something good.
and that, my friends, is my blog for the day...but hopefully not for the month.
18 February 2008
don't tell me my business, devil woman!
i like bookstores. it may have something to do with the fact that i like books. just a guess. i don't always buy something, especially now that i am super poor and cannot afford the luxury of a non-essential, non-school book (in the financial department as well as the free-time department). but i still do like to browse.
yesterday, i was in barnes & noble. had there been a powell's books in the area i would have much preferred to go there but since the independent bookstores that exist in new jersey are small enough to fit in my house, i go to barnes & noble. i am a little ashamed but you gotta do what you gotta do. so, after covetting several hardcover-fiction-new-arrivals for about 45 minutes, i headed over to that non-book section that they have. you know, where they sell the puzzles and the journals and other pretty, shiny things that i love and absolutely don't need. on my way there, i passed one of those spinning racks containing those freakishly small "books" filled with sappy advice and sickeningly poignant quotes. i happened to spy one that was entitled "65 things not to do after age 30." having just turned 30 a bit over a month ago, my interest was piqued. i picked it up to see just what kind of nonsense was held within it's tiny pages.
that was a big mistake.
i don't usually become offended in the bookstore (unless i see the name "ann coulter"--then i'm offended and i want to smack a blond republican). but this teeny little "book" really did an excellent job of pissing me off. on multiple levels, nonetheless. quite a feat for such a small "book."
first of all, putting an age limit on activities, habits or choices is slightly, well, arrogant to put it bluntly. i have a hard time agreeing with the idea that someone should or should not do something based purely on their age. how arbitrary can you be? limitations on what you can do based on your height--now that makes sense. "you must be this tall to board this ride." that is a rule i understand. it's a safety issue. too short? well, you might die on the ride. i will follow that rule. but "you must be 29 or under to board this ride." that, my friend, is age-ism. age is just time. time is relative. how can you really measure something that is relative? it's just dumb. that would be reason #1 why i hate this "book." (it's not really a book. it's too small. i have a rule that says "a book must cover an area of at least 20 sq in to be considered a book." see. i can make up rules too, you crappy, age-ist "writer.")
i stumbled upon reason #2 when i actually "read" the "book." i was expecting it to share either ridiculous things to not do after age 30 (like "don't write your resume in crayon") or irresponsible things to not do after age 30 (like "don't drink beer before liquor"). i thought it might be funny or something. maybe interesting in some way. i wasn't expecting to be insulted. i was. perhaps not everyone will be insulted. maybe some people might think that the "author" is dead on. i will vehemently disagree but i will share with you anyway.
disclaimer: these are not direct quotes. i am paraphrasing but you'll get the gist.
"don't get a lower back tattoo." too late! i already have one. got it in 2000 when i was 22. now what? do you think i should have it removed? cover it with makeup? never, ever wear a bathing suit? it's not like a piercing that i can just take out. a tattoo is like a diamond: it's forever. plus, i happen to think my lower back tattoo is quite tasteful. i put it there because it is a dragonfly and i wanted the wings to be on my back. it's symbolic. so, suck it, lady.
speaking of piercings...
yesterday, i was in barnes & noble. had there been a powell's books in the area i would have much preferred to go there but since the independent bookstores that exist in new jersey are small enough to fit in my house, i go to barnes & noble. i am a little ashamed but you gotta do what you gotta do. so, after covetting several hardcover-fiction-new-arrivals for about 45 minutes, i headed over to that non-book section that they have. you know, where they sell the puzzles and the journals and other pretty, shiny things that i love and absolutely don't need. on my way there, i passed one of those spinning racks containing those freakishly small "books" filled with sappy advice and sickeningly poignant quotes. i happened to spy one that was entitled "65 things not to do after age 30." having just turned 30 a bit over a month ago, my interest was piqued. i picked it up to see just what kind of nonsense was held within it's tiny pages.
that was a big mistake.
i don't usually become offended in the bookstore (unless i see the name "ann coulter"--then i'm offended and i want to smack a blond republican). but this teeny little "book" really did an excellent job of pissing me off. on multiple levels, nonetheless. quite a feat for such a small "book."
first of all, putting an age limit on activities, habits or choices is slightly, well, arrogant to put it bluntly. i have a hard time agreeing with the idea that someone should or should not do something based purely on their age. how arbitrary can you be? limitations on what you can do based on your height--now that makes sense. "you must be this tall to board this ride." that is a rule i understand. it's a safety issue. too short? well, you might die on the ride. i will follow that rule. but "you must be 29 or under to board this ride." that, my friend, is age-ism. age is just time. time is relative. how can you really measure something that is relative? it's just dumb. that would be reason #1 why i hate this "book." (it's not really a book. it's too small. i have a rule that says "a book must cover an area of at least 20 sq in to be considered a book." see. i can make up rules too, you crappy, age-ist "writer.")
i stumbled upon reason #2 when i actually "read" the "book." i was expecting it to share either ridiculous things to not do after age 30 (like "don't write your resume in crayon") or irresponsible things to not do after age 30 (like "don't drink beer before liquor"). i thought it might be funny or something. maybe interesting in some way. i wasn't expecting to be insulted. i was. perhaps not everyone will be insulted. maybe some people might think that the "author" is dead on. i will vehemently disagree but i will share with you anyway.
disclaimer: these are not direct quotes. i am paraphrasing but you'll get the gist.
"don't get a lower back tattoo." too late! i already have one. got it in 2000 when i was 22. now what? do you think i should have it removed? cover it with makeup? never, ever wear a bathing suit? it's not like a piercing that i can just take out. a tattoo is like a diamond: it's forever. plus, i happen to think my lower back tattoo is quite tasteful. i put it there because it is a dragonfly and i wanted the wings to be on my back. it's symbolic. so, suck it, lady.
speaking of piercings...
"don't pierce anything except your ears." too late again! got my nose pierced at age 23. but at least this time i can remove the problem, thank god. um, it's really too bad that I DON'T WANT TO. i like my nose ring. i got it because i used to hate my nose so i wanted to dress it up and make it feel pretty. i chose a nose ring over plastic surgery. i believe that was a rather wise decision on my part. i guess someone has a different opinion...
"don't play with your hair." what?? why??? and, wait...what exactly do you mean? that can be interpreted many different ways. i will ignore this "rule."
"don't wear your hair in pigtails." hey, i'm not ashamed to say that i do this occasionally. i have really, really long hair
and i think it's an interesting hairstyle on an adult when it is done right. sometimes i even like to snazz it up and braid my pigtails (see photo. i'm the one in sunglasses for those of you who haven't seen me in a while. you may click to enlarge). i happen to like it. you don't? oh, gee...i don't care.
i thi
nk it is far superior to that big poof that some people feel the need to put on the top of their head when they put their hair in a ponytail. i mean what is that all about? are you trying to make yourself look more like a horse? cuz it's working. (see other photo)
"don't ride a bicycle with a basket or tassels on it." ok, seriously? now you're going to tell me what kind of bike i will ride? what's wrong with a basket? how is that age specific? what if i need to carry stuff? if i can't have a basket, am i allowed to wear a backpack when i ride my bike? what if my bike is lime green? or magenta? (it's not. i don't actually have a bike at all. but i wouldn't rule out a lime green one simply because i'm 30.) when will the nonsense end??
"don't wear thumb rings." now i've just lost my patience with this stupid "book." what in the hell is wrong with thumb rings? am i missing something? not that i've ever worn one but still. i don't get the correlation between my age and a ring on my thumb. since she didn't mention any other fingers, i'm assuming it's ok to wear rings on my other fingers. even a decoder ring? maybe she meant to say "no decoder rings." i can get on board with that one.
personally, i think this crazy bitch is either too uptight, too unhappy with herself or has some kind of personal vendetta against people who partake in styles that she does not appreciate. i understand if you don't want to have your face pierced or wear pigtails but let's try to not be so judgemental, mmmkay?
since this "author" felt the need to share her grievances with the 30+ population with the world, i would like to share my list of rules for the general public. (including "authors" of tiny "books.")
here goes:
- don't be afraid to do something because of what someone else might think about it.
- don't not do anything because you think you're too old to do it.
- don't judge people you don't know based on their age.
- don't be so proud of your closed mind that you decide to write a "book."
- don't forget your manners.
and finally:
- don't hate, congratulate.
07 February 2008
wake me up before i go-go crazy.
song of the day: "hells bells"--acdc
you know what? i really dislike my alarm clock. really, really dislike it. i try not to use the word "hate" too often so i will just say that i loathe my alarm clock. now, i realize that this is not an uncommon complaint. there are probably very few people who actually like their alarm clock, with the exception of those obnoxious "morning people" who don't even need to set an alarm. they probably just spring out of bed at the appropriate time everyday and burst into song or something. i am not like this. at all. i need significant prodding to remove myself from my warm, comfortable, beautiful bed, especially if it is before 7am. therefore, an alarm clock is a must. but, as i mentioned before, i don't get along with mine. we are totally fighting right now. it's not only the fact that it wakes me up in the morning; it's also in the way that it choses to do so.
i can not, will not, nor do i think anyone should ever have to wake up to "talk radio." see, i despise "talk radio" (even more than i loathe my alarm clock). and other than just being downright annoying, talk radio does not lend itself to being effective "alarm clock material." instead of waking me up, it generally ends up becoming part of my dream. you know what i mean, right? you're walking down the little street in your little dream world when all of a sudden, some hot, random dude appears and begins informing you that brad pitt and angelina jolie really aren't getting along the way they used to and how he saw it coming from the very beginning. but because it's a dream, it's perfectly normal that hot-random-dude is talking to me about meaningless garbage. so i go with it and listen intently. (this does happen to other people, yes? please say yes...) so, when the meaningless garbage on the radio becomes part of my dream, all bets of me actually waking up in time are officially off. this is why i prefer to wake up to music. unfortunately, most stations feel the need to have one of those ridiculous morning shows during prime alarm clock hours. i'm sorry but there are few worse things than being woken up to one of those spoof songs about britney spears or an insane conversation about how the republicans aren't doing such a bad job after all. what a delightful way to start the day! well, i have been searching for a station that actually plays music in the wee hours of the morning but i have been defeated. there used to be one but it got replaced by an easy listening station and while waking up to mindless chatter is bad, i think waking up to mariah carey's "hero" is slightly worse. so now that there is no music and talk radio is undoubtedly out of the question, that leaves only one wake-up option: the beep.
sweet mother in heaven, the beep on my alarm clock has got to be on the list of "most intolerable noises known to man." it starts out at an incredibly loud level and then proceeds to become even louder and louder with every second until i can muster up the strength to throw my hand down on the snooze button. i should also inform you that i am a snooze button queen. yeah, you hate me, i know. but i don't think it's a choice. i'm pretty sure i do it in my sleep for the first half hour because i rarely remember hitting it as many times as i actually do. i must admit that it's getting slightly out of hand because i need to set my alarm an hour before i should get out of bed. i end up torturing myself (and anyone else within earshot) with this devil noise every nine minutes until i gain enough consciousness to turn the stupid thing off.
well, this morning, i hit a new low: the beep became part of my dream. what is wrong with me? i must really like to sleep. so what is my alternative now? i used to have a timer on one of my lights right by my bed that i set to turn on at 5am when i had to get up at 5:30. i figured that surely the transition from a completely dark room to a 60-watt light bulb in my face would kick my ass straight out of bed. know how i got around that? rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. yup, got pretty good at doing that in my sleep, too. perhaps i could hire someone to come in and jump on my bed every morning? i would probably just start to dream that i was on a boat on the high seas. i wouldn't put it past me. or i could try to find a clock like the kind that they have in cartoons where the big hammer comes out and hits me on the head. now that just might work...
so, i guess it's the beep for me unless there happen to be any new developments in the
alarm clock market in the near future. it has been a while since someone decided to update the alarm clock. i think the biggest step they've taken in the past 30 years was switching to digital numbers from those little flaps that used to fall over when the time changed. yeah...those clocks were cool.
you know what? i really dislike my alarm clock. really, really dislike it. i try not to use the word "hate" too often so i will just say that i loathe my alarm clock. now, i realize that this is not an uncommon complaint. there are probably very few people who actually like their alarm clock, with the exception of those obnoxious "morning people" who don't even need to set an alarm. they probably just spring out of bed at the appropriate time everyday and burst into song or something. i am not like this. at all. i need significant prodding to remove myself from my warm, comfortable, beautiful bed, especially if it is before 7am. therefore, an alarm clock is a must. but, as i mentioned before, i don't get along with mine. we are totally fighting right now. it's not only the fact that it wakes me up in the morning; it's also in the way that it choses to do so.
i can not, will not, nor do i think anyone should ever have to wake up to "talk radio." see, i despise "talk radio" (even more than i loathe my alarm clock). and other than just being downright annoying, talk radio does not lend itself to being effective "alarm clock material." instead of waking me up, it generally ends up becoming part of my dream. you know what i mean, right? you're walking down the little street in your little dream world when all of a sudden, some hot, random dude appears and begins informing you that brad pitt and angelina jolie really aren't getting along the way they used to and how he saw it coming from the very beginning. but because it's a dream, it's perfectly normal that hot-random-dude is talking to me about meaningless garbage. so i go with it and listen intently. (this does happen to other people, yes? please say yes...) so, when the meaningless garbage on the radio becomes part of my dream, all bets of me actually waking up in time are officially off. this is why i prefer to wake up to music. unfortunately, most stations feel the need to have one of those ridiculous morning shows during prime alarm clock hours. i'm sorry but there are few worse things than being woken up to one of those spoof songs about britney spears or an insane conversation about how the republicans aren't doing such a bad job after all. what a delightful way to start the day! well, i have been searching for a station that actually plays music in the wee hours of the morning but i have been defeated. there used to be one but it got replaced by an easy listening station and while waking up to mindless chatter is bad, i think waking up to mariah carey's "hero" is slightly worse. so now that there is no music and talk radio is undoubtedly out of the question, that leaves only one wake-up option: the beep.
sweet mother in heaven, the beep on my alarm clock has got to be on the list of "most intolerable noises known to man." it starts out at an incredibly loud level and then proceeds to become even louder and louder with every second until i can muster up the strength to throw my hand down on the snooze button. i should also inform you that i am a snooze button queen. yeah, you hate me, i know. but i don't think it's a choice. i'm pretty sure i do it in my sleep for the first half hour because i rarely remember hitting it as many times as i actually do. i must admit that it's getting slightly out of hand because i need to set my alarm an hour before i should get out of bed. i end up torturing myself (and anyone else within earshot) with this devil noise every nine minutes until i gain enough consciousness to turn the stupid thing off.
well, this morning, i hit a new low: the beep became part of my dream. what is wrong with me? i must really like to sleep. so what is my alternative now? i used to have a timer on one of my lights right by my bed that i set to turn on at 5am when i had to get up at 5:30. i figured that surely the transition from a completely dark room to a 60-watt light bulb in my face would kick my ass straight out of bed. know how i got around that? rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. yup, got pretty good at doing that in my sleep, too. perhaps i could hire someone to come in and jump on my bed every morning? i would probably just start to dream that i was on a boat on the high seas. i wouldn't put it past me. or i could try to find a clock like the kind that they have in cartoons where the big hammer comes out and hits me on the head. now that just might work...
so, i guess it's the beep for me unless there happen to be any new developments in the
alarm clock market in the near future. it has been a while since someone decided to update the alarm clock. i think the biggest step they've taken in the past 30 years was switching to digital numbers from those little flaps that used to fall over when the time changed. yeah...those clocks were cool.
29 January 2008
quoth the raven, "nevermore." quoth the sparrow, "not so much."
so, last week i started classes up again (yay for school) and on my very first day back, a tragedy occured. i killed a bird. ok, well, i didn't kill it. really, my car killed it. oh, hell. let's just call a spade a spade: the bird committed suicide, damnit.
i went outside to leave for the hospital. i walked over to my car, opened the door, sat down, and while closing the door, thought to myself, "why are there tiny little feathers on my driver's side window? it almost looks like a bird...aww, man." i reopened my door, looked on the driveway, and there it was: a little, non-descript, gray bird, decidedly dead. i've seen birds die from crashing into glass before. since i work in a glass building, it's almost a daily occurrence. but i wasn't the one who made the decision to build the building out of glass so, while i did feel bad for the poor little bird that thought he was entering a magical land that looked strangely similar to the area from whence he came, i never felt much guilt for causing the death of a bird. but now, on top being sad for the shortened life of an innocent, cute little bird, and now having a dead bird in the path of where i need to step in order to get in and out of my car (since there are 5 cars in my household and everyone leaves and comes home at various times, we have assigned driveway spots. it's very complicated), i can now add guilt to my list for indirectly causing the death. i bought the car. i parked it there. way to go, bird. can't you fly into the car window of someone who hates animals? (by the way, these people do exist. i work with one. his name is doug. he hates all living creatures that aren't human. fish might be ok, though. i forget.) but i happen to actually like animals. i won't go as far as my sister does and shed a tear or two upon seeing a dead squirrel, but roadkill does make me a little sad (not so much possums though. they look too much like rats to get all emotional when i see a dead one.)
and i'm sorry, but this bird must be pretty dumb. a car window? come on! and i drive a teeny little corolla, for crying out loud. it's not like it slammed into the 20 sq ft windshield of a monster truck. has anyone else ever seen this happen before? do birds frequently end their lives by running into parked cars? because this is certainly my first time. and i must say, i do hope it's my last.
seriously though, i live in a damn disney movie with all the fauna running around my house. i guess i should consider myself lucky that i haven't killed before. there are 8 billion squirrels, 30,000 rabbits, 20 million different kinds of birds, 1400 chipmunks, 600 cats, 54 families of deer and 12 raccoons. and they all run around at the same time, chirping and clucking or whatever and chasing each other. it's ridiculous. i thought this was jersey? what the hell happened?
needless to say, something came along and had the little dead bird for breakfast because it was gone when i came home a couple days later. it was probably a hawk or a cat or a pack of pumas. but let this be a lesson to you all: no matter how small your car is, you can still kill a bird.
i went outside to leave for the hospital. i walked over to my car, opened the door, sat down, and while closing the door, thought to myself, "why are there tiny little feathers on my driver's side window? it almost looks like a bird...aww, man." i reopened my door, looked on the driveway, and there it was: a little, non-descript, gray bird, decidedly dead. i've seen birds die from crashing into glass before. since i work in a glass building, it's almost a daily occurrence. but i wasn't the one who made the decision to build the building out of glass so, while i did feel bad for the poor little bird that thought he was entering a magical land that looked strangely similar to the area from whence he came, i never felt much guilt for causing the death of a bird. but now, on top being sad for the shortened life of an innocent, cute little bird, and now having a dead bird in the path of where i need to step in order to get in and out of my car (since there are 5 cars in my household and everyone leaves and comes home at various times, we have assigned driveway spots. it's very complicated), i can now add guilt to my list for indirectly causing the death. i bought the car. i parked it there. way to go, bird. can't you fly into the car window of someone who hates animals? (by the way, these people do exist. i work with one. his name is doug. he hates all living creatures that aren't human. fish might be ok, though. i forget.) but i happen to actually like animals. i won't go as far as my sister does and shed a tear or two upon seeing a dead squirrel, but roadkill does make me a little sad (not so much possums though. they look too much like rats to get all emotional when i see a dead one.)
and i'm sorry, but this bird must be pretty dumb. a car window? come on! and i drive a teeny little corolla, for crying out loud. it's not like it slammed into the 20 sq ft windshield of a monster truck. has anyone else ever seen this happen before? do birds frequently end their lives by running into parked cars? because this is certainly my first time. and i must say, i do hope it's my last.
seriously though, i live in a damn disney movie with all the fauna running around my house. i guess i should consider myself lucky that i haven't killed before. there are 8 billion squirrels, 30,000 rabbits, 20 million different kinds of birds, 1400 chipmunks, 600 cats, 54 families of deer and 12 raccoons. and they all run around at the same time, chirping and clucking or whatever and chasing each other. it's ridiculous. i thought this was jersey? what the hell happened?
needless to say, something came along and had the little dead bird for breakfast because it was gone when i came home a couple days later. it was probably a hawk or a cat or a pack of pumas. but let this be a lesson to you all: no matter how small your car is, you can still kill a bird.
03 January 2008
yet another holiday for me to detest!
i have never really been a big “new year’s” celebrator. when i was little, i thought it was pretty cool that i was allowed to stay up til midnight but that really lost it’s thrill around age 13. and now, well, it’s basically just another day.
going out on new year’s eve sounds like it would be a good idea until you realize that it will cost your firstborn to get a few watered-down drinks and a couple elbow shots to the face. it’s crowded. it’s louder than you ever thought possible. people are oblivious of where your feet are (have you ever had someone step on your toes while wearing 4” heels? i’ve never had a toe amputated but i’m guessing it’s almost the same sensation). the stupid ball drops and everyone proves that they’re not so drunk that they can’t count backwards from 10. there’s confetti and $5 champagne and “auld lang syne” and watching people slobber all over each other. then…well, that’s really it, isn’t it? you drink a little more and then you have the added bonus of spending the whole ride home hoping and praying that all the designated drivers out there weren’t sneaking some rum into their free cokes.
yee haw.
yeah, i tend to avoid public places on new year’s eve and, at the risk of sounding like a total loser, i don’t always stay up until midnight. sometimes i’ve made it to the turning point purely by accident but definitely not with the intention of jumping up and down screaming “happy new year!!!” it’s just not my style. and i never watch that damn ball drop. just looking at all those wasted, out-of-control people crammed into times square is enough to make me physically uncomfortable. crowds really freak me out and drunken crowds can’t possibly be any less frightening.
so that being said, i do appreciate the start of a new year, not so much because i can finally begin new and more productive behavior but because it gives me an opportunity to look back on the choices that i’ve made in the past 12 months. i like to see if the things i have done fit into the type of person that i think that i am. the choices i’ve made that i am proud of, i try to continue with those kinds of decisions. for the choices i’ve made that cause me to cringe a little bit, i try to pinpoint exactly what was running through my head at that specific time and try to find a way to change the way i think about those situations. i have a general list of qualities that i like to incorporate into my everyday life. if i think that too much of my time has been spent in ways that contradict the person i want to be, those are the things i want to try to work on. i don’t really believe in the “resolution.” pardon the clichéd comment, but those i’ve attempted never seemed to last too far into January. i’m sure they work for some people but i’ve never had much luck. the only resolution that seemed to stick was “no more new year’s resolutions.” ironic, huh?
the other thing that new year’s reminds me of is that it is just one week until my birthday. interestingly enough, i’ve never been too crazy about that celebration either. (huh. i’m starting to sound like a downer here, aren’t i? but i love thanksgiving!! remember that post?? see. there is a holiday that doesn’t make me bitter. i do happen to like other people’s birthdays. i tend to have a much better time when i’m not the center of attention.) my birthday is so close to the holidays that most people are either too tired, too broke or just too cold to want to do much of anything. when i was younger, i tried to convince my mom that we should celebrate my birthday in may instead. it didn't work. but this year is a big one for me. i’m leaving my dull and unimportant twenties for my far more exciting and fun-filled thirties!!! at least that’s what i’m telling myself. i mean, it’s really what you make of it, right? i’m trying to look at it as a good thing that i will no longer be in my twenties. twenties are for finding yourself and i think i’ve done that pretty well. now it’s time for…whatever it is that people do in their thirties…but i just know it’s gonna kick ass! plus, 30 is the new 20. i’ve also recently heard that 40 is the new 20 which i think is a little crazy cuz then, well, i’ll be turning 10 on tuesday. there’s an age i don’t ever want to see again. fifth grade was a killer. so here’s to my 30’s!!
oh! one reason that new year’s is fun is you get to start a new “page-a-day” calendar! this year, i have the “george w. bush out of office countdown” calendar. it has one stupid thing he or someone in his administration has said or done for everyday until jan 20th, 2009 and tells you how many days are left in his "reign." (yes, it’s a bonus calendar because you actually get an extra 20 days out of it. score!)
i will share with you jan 1st’s vomit-inducing quote:
“you can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.” –g.w.b., 2001 gridiron dinner
only 383 days left…
going out on new year’s eve sounds like it would be a good idea until you realize that it will cost your firstborn to get a few watered-down drinks and a couple elbow shots to the face. it’s crowded. it’s louder than you ever thought possible. people are oblivious of where your feet are (have you ever had someone step on your toes while wearing 4” heels? i’ve never had a toe amputated but i’m guessing it’s almost the same sensation). the stupid ball drops and everyone proves that they’re not so drunk that they can’t count backwards from 10. there’s confetti and $5 champagne and “auld lang syne” and watching people slobber all over each other. then…well, that’s really it, isn’t it? you drink a little more and then you have the added bonus of spending the whole ride home hoping and praying that all the designated drivers out there weren’t sneaking some rum into their free cokes.
yee haw.
yeah, i tend to avoid public places on new year’s eve and, at the risk of sounding like a total loser, i don’t always stay up until midnight. sometimes i’ve made it to the turning point purely by accident but definitely not with the intention of jumping up and down screaming “happy new year!!!” it’s just not my style. and i never watch that damn ball drop. just looking at all those wasted, out-of-control people crammed into times square is enough to make me physically uncomfortable. crowds really freak me out and drunken crowds can’t possibly be any less frightening.
so that being said, i do appreciate the start of a new year, not so much because i can finally begin new and more productive behavior but because it gives me an opportunity to look back on the choices that i’ve made in the past 12 months. i like to see if the things i have done fit into the type of person that i think that i am. the choices i’ve made that i am proud of, i try to continue with those kinds of decisions. for the choices i’ve made that cause me to cringe a little bit, i try to pinpoint exactly what was running through my head at that specific time and try to find a way to change the way i think about those situations. i have a general list of qualities that i like to incorporate into my everyday life. if i think that too much of my time has been spent in ways that contradict the person i want to be, those are the things i want to try to work on. i don’t really believe in the “resolution.” pardon the clichéd comment, but those i’ve attempted never seemed to last too far into January. i’m sure they work for some people but i’ve never had much luck. the only resolution that seemed to stick was “no more new year’s resolutions.” ironic, huh?
the other thing that new year’s reminds me of is that it is just one week until my birthday. interestingly enough, i’ve never been too crazy about that celebration either. (huh. i’m starting to sound like a downer here, aren’t i? but i love thanksgiving!! remember that post?? see. there is a holiday that doesn’t make me bitter. i do happen to like other people’s birthdays. i tend to have a much better time when i’m not the center of attention.) my birthday is so close to the holidays that most people are either too tired, too broke or just too cold to want to do much of anything. when i was younger, i tried to convince my mom that we should celebrate my birthday in may instead. it didn't work. but this year is a big one for me. i’m leaving my dull and unimportant twenties for my far more exciting and fun-filled thirties!!! at least that’s what i’m telling myself. i mean, it’s really what you make of it, right? i’m trying to look at it as a good thing that i will no longer be in my twenties. twenties are for finding yourself and i think i’ve done that pretty well. now it’s time for…whatever it is that people do in their thirties…but i just know it’s gonna kick ass! plus, 30 is the new 20. i’ve also recently heard that 40 is the new 20 which i think is a little crazy cuz then, well, i’ll be turning 10 on tuesday. there’s an age i don’t ever want to see again. fifth grade was a killer. so here’s to my 30’s!!
oh! one reason that new year’s is fun is you get to start a new “page-a-day” calendar! this year, i have the “george w. bush out of office countdown” calendar. it has one stupid thing he or someone in his administration has said or done for everyday until jan 20th, 2009 and tells you how many days are left in his "reign." (yes, it’s a bonus calendar because you actually get an extra 20 days out of it. score!)
i will share with you jan 1st’s vomit-inducing quote:
“you can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.” –g.w.b., 2001 gridiron dinner
only 383 days left…
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