so, last week i started classes up again (yay for school) and on my very first day back, a tragedy occured. i killed a bird. ok, well, i didn't kill it. really, my car killed it. oh, hell. let's just call a spade a spade: the bird committed suicide, damnit.
i went outside to leave for the hospital. i walked over to my car, opened the door, sat down, and while closing the door, thought to myself, "why are there tiny little feathers on my driver's side window? it almost looks like a bird...aww, man." i reopened my door, looked on the driveway, and there it was: a little, non-descript, gray bird, decidedly dead. i've seen birds die from crashing into glass before. since i work in a glass building, it's almost a daily occurrence. but i wasn't the one who made the decision to build the building out of glass so, while i did feel bad for the poor little bird that thought he was entering a magical land that looked strangely similar to the area from whence he came, i never felt much guilt for causing the death of a bird. but now, on top being sad for the shortened life of an innocent, cute little bird, and now having a dead bird in the path of where i need to step in order to get in and out of my car (since there are 5 cars in my household and everyone leaves and comes home at various times, we have assigned driveway spots. it's very complicated), i can now add guilt to my list for indirectly causing the death. i bought the car. i parked it there. way to go, bird. can't you fly into the car window of someone who hates animals? (by the way, these people do exist. i work with one. his name is doug. he hates all living creatures that aren't human. fish might be ok, though. i forget.) but i happen to actually like animals. i won't go as far as my sister does and shed a tear or two upon seeing a dead squirrel, but roadkill does make me a little sad (not so much possums though. they look too much like rats to get all emotional when i see a dead one.)
and i'm sorry, but this bird must be pretty dumb. a car window? come on! and i drive a teeny little corolla, for crying out loud. it's not like it slammed into the 20 sq ft windshield of a monster truck. has anyone else ever seen this happen before? do birds frequently end their lives by running into parked cars? because this is certainly my first time. and i must say, i do hope it's my last.
seriously though, i live in a damn disney movie with all the fauna running around my house. i guess i should consider myself lucky that i haven't killed before. there are 8 billion squirrels, 30,000 rabbits, 20 million different kinds of birds, 1400 chipmunks, 600 cats, 54 families of deer and 12 raccoons. and they all run around at the same time, chirping and clucking or whatever and chasing each other. it's ridiculous. i thought this was jersey? what the hell happened?
needless to say, something came along and had the little dead bird for breakfast because it was gone when i came home a couple days later. it was probably a hawk or a cat or a pack of pumas. but let this be a lesson to you all: no matter how small your car is, you can still kill a bird.
03 January 2008
yet another holiday for me to detest!
i have never really been a big “new year’s” celebrator. when i was little, i thought it was pretty cool that i was allowed to stay up til midnight but that really lost it’s thrill around age 13. and now, well, it’s basically just another day.
going out on new year’s eve sounds like it would be a good idea until you realize that it will cost your firstborn to get a few watered-down drinks and a couple elbow shots to the face. it’s crowded. it’s louder than you ever thought possible. people are oblivious of where your feet are (have you ever had someone step on your toes while wearing 4” heels? i’ve never had a toe amputated but i’m guessing it’s almost the same sensation). the stupid ball drops and everyone proves that they’re not so drunk that they can’t count backwards from 10. there’s confetti and $5 champagne and “auld lang syne” and watching people slobber all over each other. then…well, that’s really it, isn’t it? you drink a little more and then you have the added bonus of spending the whole ride home hoping and praying that all the designated drivers out there weren’t sneaking some rum into their free cokes.
yee haw.
yeah, i tend to avoid public places on new year’s eve and, at the risk of sounding like a total loser, i don’t always stay up until midnight. sometimes i’ve made it to the turning point purely by accident but definitely not with the intention of jumping up and down screaming “happy new year!!!” it’s just not my style. and i never watch that damn ball drop. just looking at all those wasted, out-of-control people crammed into times square is enough to make me physically uncomfortable. crowds really freak me out and drunken crowds can’t possibly be any less frightening.
so that being said, i do appreciate the start of a new year, not so much because i can finally begin new and more productive behavior but because it gives me an opportunity to look back on the choices that i’ve made in the past 12 months. i like to see if the things i have done fit into the type of person that i think that i am. the choices i’ve made that i am proud of, i try to continue with those kinds of decisions. for the choices i’ve made that cause me to cringe a little bit, i try to pinpoint exactly what was running through my head at that specific time and try to find a way to change the way i think about those situations. i have a general list of qualities that i like to incorporate into my everyday life. if i think that too much of my time has been spent in ways that contradict the person i want to be, those are the things i want to try to work on. i don’t really believe in the “resolution.” pardon the clichéd comment, but those i’ve attempted never seemed to last too far into January. i’m sure they work for some people but i’ve never had much luck. the only resolution that seemed to stick was “no more new year’s resolutions.” ironic, huh?
the other thing that new year’s reminds me of is that it is just one week until my birthday. interestingly enough, i’ve never been too crazy about that celebration either. (huh. i’m starting to sound like a downer here, aren’t i? but i love thanksgiving!! remember that post?? see. there is a holiday that doesn’t make me bitter. i do happen to like other people’s birthdays. i tend to have a much better time when i’m not the center of attention.) my birthday is so close to the holidays that most people are either too tired, too broke or just too cold to want to do much of anything. when i was younger, i tried to convince my mom that we should celebrate my birthday in may instead. it didn't work. but this year is a big one for me. i’m leaving my dull and unimportant twenties for my far more exciting and fun-filled thirties!!! at least that’s what i’m telling myself. i mean, it’s really what you make of it, right? i’m trying to look at it as a good thing that i will no longer be in my twenties. twenties are for finding yourself and i think i’ve done that pretty well. now it’s time for…whatever it is that people do in their thirties…but i just know it’s gonna kick ass! plus, 30 is the new 20. i’ve also recently heard that 40 is the new 20 which i think is a little crazy cuz then, well, i’ll be turning 10 on tuesday. there’s an age i don’t ever want to see again. fifth grade was a killer. so here’s to my 30’s!!
oh! one reason that new year’s is fun is you get to start a new “page-a-day” calendar! this year, i have the “george w. bush out of office countdown” calendar. it has one stupid thing he or someone in his administration has said or done for everyday until jan 20th, 2009 and tells you how many days are left in his "reign." (yes, it’s a bonus calendar because you actually get an extra 20 days out of it. score!)
i will share with you jan 1st’s vomit-inducing quote:
“you can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.” –g.w.b., 2001 gridiron dinner
only 383 days left…
going out on new year’s eve sounds like it would be a good idea until you realize that it will cost your firstborn to get a few watered-down drinks and a couple elbow shots to the face. it’s crowded. it’s louder than you ever thought possible. people are oblivious of where your feet are (have you ever had someone step on your toes while wearing 4” heels? i’ve never had a toe amputated but i’m guessing it’s almost the same sensation). the stupid ball drops and everyone proves that they’re not so drunk that they can’t count backwards from 10. there’s confetti and $5 champagne and “auld lang syne” and watching people slobber all over each other. then…well, that’s really it, isn’t it? you drink a little more and then you have the added bonus of spending the whole ride home hoping and praying that all the designated drivers out there weren’t sneaking some rum into their free cokes.
yee haw.
yeah, i tend to avoid public places on new year’s eve and, at the risk of sounding like a total loser, i don’t always stay up until midnight. sometimes i’ve made it to the turning point purely by accident but definitely not with the intention of jumping up and down screaming “happy new year!!!” it’s just not my style. and i never watch that damn ball drop. just looking at all those wasted, out-of-control people crammed into times square is enough to make me physically uncomfortable. crowds really freak me out and drunken crowds can’t possibly be any less frightening.
so that being said, i do appreciate the start of a new year, not so much because i can finally begin new and more productive behavior but because it gives me an opportunity to look back on the choices that i’ve made in the past 12 months. i like to see if the things i have done fit into the type of person that i think that i am. the choices i’ve made that i am proud of, i try to continue with those kinds of decisions. for the choices i’ve made that cause me to cringe a little bit, i try to pinpoint exactly what was running through my head at that specific time and try to find a way to change the way i think about those situations. i have a general list of qualities that i like to incorporate into my everyday life. if i think that too much of my time has been spent in ways that contradict the person i want to be, those are the things i want to try to work on. i don’t really believe in the “resolution.” pardon the clichéd comment, but those i’ve attempted never seemed to last too far into January. i’m sure they work for some people but i’ve never had much luck. the only resolution that seemed to stick was “no more new year’s resolutions.” ironic, huh?
the other thing that new year’s reminds me of is that it is just one week until my birthday. interestingly enough, i’ve never been too crazy about that celebration either. (huh. i’m starting to sound like a downer here, aren’t i? but i love thanksgiving!! remember that post?? see. there is a holiday that doesn’t make me bitter. i do happen to like other people’s birthdays. i tend to have a much better time when i’m not the center of attention.) my birthday is so close to the holidays that most people are either too tired, too broke or just too cold to want to do much of anything. when i was younger, i tried to convince my mom that we should celebrate my birthday in may instead. it didn't work. but this year is a big one for me. i’m leaving my dull and unimportant twenties for my far more exciting and fun-filled thirties!!! at least that’s what i’m telling myself. i mean, it’s really what you make of it, right? i’m trying to look at it as a good thing that i will no longer be in my twenties. twenties are for finding yourself and i think i’ve done that pretty well. now it’s time for…whatever it is that people do in their thirties…but i just know it’s gonna kick ass! plus, 30 is the new 20. i’ve also recently heard that 40 is the new 20 which i think is a little crazy cuz then, well, i’ll be turning 10 on tuesday. there’s an age i don’t ever want to see again. fifth grade was a killer. so here’s to my 30’s!!
oh! one reason that new year’s is fun is you get to start a new “page-a-day” calendar! this year, i have the “george w. bush out of office countdown” calendar. it has one stupid thing he or someone in his administration has said or done for everyday until jan 20th, 2009 and tells you how many days are left in his "reign." (yes, it’s a bonus calendar because you actually get an extra 20 days out of it. score!)
i will share with you jan 1st’s vomit-inducing quote:
“you can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.” –g.w.b., 2001 gridiron dinner
only 383 days left…
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