quoth the raven, "nevermore." quoth the sparrow, "not so much."

so, last week i started classes up again (yay for school) and on my very first day back, a tragedy occured. i killed a bird. ok, well, i didn't kill it. really, my car killed it. oh, hell. let's just call a spade a spade: the bird committed suicide, damnit.

i went outside to leave for the hospital. i walked over to my car, opened the door, sat down, and while closing the door, thought to myself, "why are there tiny little feathers on my driver's side window? it almost looks like a bird...aww, man." i reopened my door, looked on the driveway, and there it was: a little, non-descript, gray bird, decidedly dead. i've seen birds die from crashing into glass before. since i work in a glass building, it's almost a daily occurrence. but i wasn't the one who made the decision to build the building out of glass so, while i did feel bad for the poor little bird that thought he was entering a magical land that looked strangely similar to the area from whence he came, i never felt much guilt for causing the death of a bird. but now, on top being sad for the shortened life of an innocent, cute little bird, and now having a dead bird in the path of where i need to step in order to get in and out of my car (since there are 5 cars in my household and everyone leaves and comes home at various times, we have assigned driveway spots. it's very complicated), i can now add guilt to my list for indirectly causing the death. i bought the car. i parked it there. way to go, bird. can't you fly into the car window of someone who hates animals? (by the way, these people do exist. i work with one. his name is doug. he hates all living creatures that aren't human. fish might be ok, though. i forget.) but i happen to actually like animals. i won't go as far as my sister does and shed a tear or two upon seeing a dead squirrel, but roadkill does make me a little sad (not so much possums though. they look too much like rats to get all emotional when i see a dead one.)

and i'm sorry, but this bird must be pretty dumb. a car window? come on! and i drive a teeny little corolla, for crying out loud. it's not like it slammed into the 20 sq ft windshield of a monster truck. has anyone else ever seen this happen before? do birds frequently end their lives by running into parked cars? because this is certainly my first time. and i must say, i do hope it's my last.

seriously though, i live in a damn disney movie with all the fauna running around my house. i guess i should consider myself lucky that i haven't killed before. there are 8 billion squirrels, 30,000 rabbits, 20 million different kinds of birds, 1400 chipmunks, 600 cats, 54 families of deer and 12 raccoons. and they all run around at the same time, chirping and clucking or whatever and chasing each other. it's ridiculous. i thought this was jersey? what the hell happened?

needless to say, something came along and had the little dead bird for breakfast because it was gone when i came home a couple days later. it was probably a hawk or a cat or a pack of pumas. but let this be a lesson to you all: no matter how small your car is, you can still kill a bird.