maybe they meant "park(ing lot) ranger?"

word of the day: superfluous: (adj) in excess of what is required or sufficient.
song of the day: "big yellow taxi" -- joni mitchell

while driving the other day, i found myself behind the middlesex county park ranger. you may not think this is strange. but, then again, you may not know where i live either. middlesex county, nj isn't exactly the kind of area one would think of as a "park setting." there's not really a huge amount of leafy vegetation. we do have trees and stuff but they're not usually grouped together. what we call "parks" are generally small patches of grass sprinkled with a few trees, picnic tables and those bbq grills made out of half an oil drum. there may also be a softball or soccer field if you're lucky. maybe a man-made lake that needs those fountains in the middle to keep it from sprouting that green stuff. i don't see any of these areas requiring anything more than a small lawn mower and someone to empty the dunkin' donuts cups from the numerous garbage cans. maintenance: yes. park ranger: huh?

when i tried to picture who was driving,
this is what popped into my head.

we aren't really known for our parks in jersey. it's not our thing. unless you're speaking of "menlo park mall." we're very proud of that. people come all the way from connecticut to shop there. we also have several thousand "corporate parks." lots of fresh air there. yeah...so parks, not so much. we do have a large amount of pavement and concrete. and giant, vacant houses and office space. (we like to build, whether or not anyone is actually looking to buy). my hometown, which is in middlesex county, was also home to one of the east coast's worst toxic waste dumps, kin-buc. yeah, it was a superfund site. ah, there's no place like home... (http://www.contienviro.com/projfolder/kin_buc_landfill_superfund_site.pdf --> in case you wanted more info about picturesque edison, nj)

so, that being said, i'm not too sure what this "park ranger" does for a living. i would love to know how much s/he gets paid for this "ranging." i am slightly proud to mention that s/he was driving a ford escape hybrid. though i don't know if the hybrid suvs get any better gas mileage than my non-hybrid corolla, i would have expected a jersey park ranger to be cruising around in a fully-loaded expedition or an escalade or something equally ridiculous. something with chrome rims, tints and a spoiler. maybe even a hummer. that would be totally jersey. we do have some pretty rugged terrain. i mean, some parts of the state are even above sea level. (just as a side note, i hate hummers. i find them completely and totally ludicrous out of the context of the military. do you drive through a lake on your way to work? no? then why a hummer? why?)

needless to say, i was so shocked by the sight of this seemingly unneeded profession that i thought it required visual documentation. it was akin to a bigfoot or loch ness monster sighting. i wanted proof i actually witnessed this just in case nobody believed me.

so sad yet so true...forget "the garden state," that should be our state motto.