no door is this heavy.

word of the day: altruism (noun) unselfish concern for the welfare of others
song of the day: "let my love open the door" -- pete townsend

i really hate to dump on jersey all the time but, good god, it's just so flippin' easy. people are constantly giving me reason to ball my fists and mutter under my breath and today, i'll have you know, was no exception.

i stopped by quick chek this morning for coffee (is quick chek a national chain? i'm not sure. but just so you know, i am spelling it right--no second "c" in the "check"). i wish there was a place that sold better coffee that was just as convenient but that would be too much to ask so quick chek it is. i was walking up to the front entrance and i noticed a woman keeping the door open for me. let me just say that this gesture is uncommon in this area. actually, most polite gestures are uncommon in this area but this one in particular is virtually extinct. i don't really remember what the protocol was in portland, oregon...did people hold doors open there? maybe it was so normal that i never noticed. i do remember significant door holding in college. people in massachusetts would wait for someone who was a half a mile away. i thought that was a bit excessive and sometimes, if the door was being held for me, i would feel as though i should sprint so i didn't waste more of the doorholder's time. occasionally, on the days i didn't feel like running, i would change my route or start rummaging through my bag so the doorholder would give up on me and just continue on their way.

so, anyway, this morning, as force of habit, i did the quick jog thing to make it look like i was at least semi-appreciative. and as always, when my hand came in contact with the door, i said "thank you." well, this crazy lunatic obviously didn't hear me thank her because she turned around with this look on her face like i had just kicked her in the shin and said in sarcastic annoyance, "you're welcome." i just looked at her with what i am sure was exhausted disgust and quietly said "i said thank you." she then mumbled something unintelligible that i believe was a version of "sorry, i'm a stupid jackass who is angry at the world."

my question is: why, WHY, did you hold the door open for me? was it to be nice? was is because it is what you think you should do? because you wanted to? you were bored? had extra time? what?? because i really don't need your politeness if you immediately follow it with unnecessary nastiness. really. don't do me any favors. while i am grateful that you thought of me, i'm perfectly capable of opening a door. i did go to college. if the whole point of your good deed is to get a thank you out of it (which i did give; you just weren't listening, you cranky quick chek shopper), then maybe you should rethink your good-deed-doing. there was a "friends" episode about this. phoebe made a bet with joey that there are good deeds that can be done without expecting that feel-good feeling afterwards. she let a bee sting her to make the bee look manly in front of his bee friends. then joey pointed out that the bee probably died after it stung her. so nobody won. something to think about all you door-holder-thank-you-awaiters out there. i'm not in any way advocating the lack of a "thank you" when a "thank you" is due, but if you do something nice to be nice, leave it at that. your expectations just make you look petty instead of the chivalrous outcome you were going for.

but, to be honest, i can't say i blame the cranky quick chek shopper that much for her bad attitude. after all, she does live in this wretched state full of ungrateful, selfish maniacs. maybe someone had just cut her off in the parking lot. who knows? but i can be sure of one thing: if she tries holding the door open for me again, i'm going to pretend i need to tie my shoe.